Dismissing good things as flukes or irrelevant.
Discounting the positive filters out evidence that would challenge a negative self-story. Wins are minimized, explained away, or dismissed before they can update your beliefs.
The distortion keeps the old narrative intact by treating confirming evidence as meaningful and disconfirming evidence as irrelevant or suspicious.
“They only complimented my work to be polite. It does not actually mean I did anything well.”
Positive feedback is still data. Even if kindness is present, it does not cancel the possibility that your work genuinely landed well.
“I handled that conversation calmly, but it doesn't count because anyone should be able to do that.”
A strength does not become meaningless just because it looks ordinary from the inside. Calm responses often reflect real growth and effort.
Practice taking positive data seriously enough that it can update the story you tell yourself.
Ask yourself: What positive data am I deleting right now?
A kinder version: This success counts, even if it was not perfect.
Relief walks through this on iPhone — capture the thought, name the distortion, weigh the evidence, write a more balanced version. Everything stays encrypted on your device. No account, no cloud.